


Meeting Deadlines

by treecovery



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dating, Fantasy, Getting Together, Greek and Roman Mythology - Freeform, I got very distracted by world building i'm sorry, M/M, Phil is cupid's worker so... imagine him with tiny cute wings if you want, Valentine's Day, loosely inspired by myth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 22:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13668252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treecovery/pseuds/treecovery
Summary: Phil works for Cupid and his job involves matching people up with their other halves. He's been having a particularly bad month when he's appointed to match Daniel Howell with someone. Things go from bad to worse to great.





	Meeting Deadlines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [phanagenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanagenda/gifts).



> happy palentine's day everyone, hope you like this!  
> thanks 2 neha (@browncurlysoul) and suk for helping me out a bit

Phil groaned loudly, his annoyance barely audible over the tunes of Give Me Love that echoed throughout the entire floor. 

“I don’t understand how we’re supposed to work with this constantly droning on the speakers!” 

“You know it’s to help us get in the mood, Phil, it’s not that bad you know.” Elena’s voice butted in, interrupting his daily whining session.

“It wasn’t bad the first 10 times I heard it, but as of now, it’s the worst song I’ve ever heard. And get in the mood? _Eww Ellie_ ” he screwed up his face in mock disgust. 

“Shush, get back to work. Do I need to remind you of your shitty success rate? One more person left unmatched and you’ll be thrown in the mail room.”

Phil’s eyes widened, he never wanted to go back there if he could help it, every love letter was sprayed with flowery and sugary scents. The last time he stepped into the mailroom he reeked of caramel for weeks, he was so close to biting a chunk out of his arm as a snack. He wasn’t even going to let himself think about the glitter, he still found traces of it in his orifices sometimes. 

Phil shook his head to clear his thoughts, “I swear all the people under me last month were aromantic” he whined.

“Well, then you should’ve found them queerplatonic partners! Don’t make excuses and get on with it. I know I don’t act like it but I don’t want you to end up in the mailroom either.” 

Elena kept her eyes pinned to the folder open in her hands. 

“You know, they opened up a new division for digital love letters. I hear they don’t have enough interns in the sexting department.” 

Phil tried to keep the smile off his face, Ellie was a softie at heart; he knew she had taken shine to him ever since he helped her meet her new year’s kissing partners’ deadline. It was either that or she just wanted someone submissive and kind enough to share some more of her workload. He hoped it wasn’t the latter. 

—

He flipped open the cover of the folder resting on his desk, the person of interest was a Daniel Howell, 26 years old, a thespian by profession. The picture in the corner showcased a young man with curly brown hair and eyes, fairly attractive with his sun kissed skin, not that Phil’s opinion mattered. 

One would think it’d be easier to find a pair for attractive people, but that’s just a rookie mistake, instead it was almost harder to find a person who would complement their temperament and like them for more than superficial reasons. When it was someone who wasn’t conventionally attractive, though the possibilities of the pairings were smaller, they were far more reliable.

But this was a good chance as any, what with Daniel having such a strong personality, it made things easier. The detailed folders on the person of interest were the best and worst parts of the job according to Phil, they were filled with intimate, confidential data only for his viewing that would make sure that he matched him with a person at the best of his ability. 

Phil tried to school his features as he noticed that the “Sexual Needs/Inclination” list went on for longer than the average file, with racier stuff that he had never heard of, but who was he to judge (besides he’d had his fair share of experience with the angels in heaven).

He flipped to Daniel’s financial condition, usually this was just an extra step to make sure the partner would be financially compatible or maybe not in some cases in order to make sure they lead a stable and secure life after being matched. Phil liked to make sure his people had a bed to sleep in AND a lover to share it with, rare as that was. 

His numbers were at an all time low, and he would settle for less than prince charming, or Daniel would, he thought. The job was simple, all he had to do was find a compatible match for him and set them in an environment where they’d meet each other. Usually if the job was done right, the matched pair would be interested in each other at sight and attempt to initiate contact. 

Daniel was a denizen of the internet, that made things simpler, he’d just make sure to rig the algorithms of every dating app that Dan uses so that they’d match him with the possible soulmates according to the database. 

___

 

Daniel’s date had been waiting for 15 minutes, already having ordered a coffee. Meanwhile, Phil had watched Daniel play Guild Wars 2 for an entire day, skipping lunch, and realising it was time to get ready for his date only when Phil resorted to drop his phone on the (carpeted, he wasn’t a monster) ground. 

It took him 3 minutes to put together a black outfit, which means he just randomly picked up two items of black clothing off his bed, which was easy enough, minimising the time to find something that would match. 

Another 10 minutes to get to the cafe, on foot. Phil mentally added “tardy, bad at time management and self care” to Daniel’s folder.

___

“Um, Archie?” 

The blonde man sitting alone, with an empty mug and a pastry in front of him looked up, “Daniel? Nice of you to show up” he said with a smile to soften the blow. 

“I’m so, so sorry! I wish I had a better excuse but I really just lost myself in the world of gaming” he tried to give his most charming smile, hoping that they’d bond over his flaws, “and, you can call me Dan.”

“That’s okay, Dan, I can’t say I can relate but you’re not too late. I started without you though.” He pointed to the table, “go get yourself a drink and we’ll make up for lost time.” his tone, flirty.

Dan headed to the counter, ordering himself a caramel macchiato, he found himself thinking about how Archie was… definitely cute, maybe even out of his league, but someone who isn’t into gaming? 

That’s just a prerequisite in any relationship he’s ever had, every girlfriend and boyfriend, regardless of how temporary, always spent a majority of their relationship losing to him at Mario Kart. He was something of a pro and it was akin to foreplay to him if he was honest.

Phil watched as Dan’s eyes almost glazed over, dreaming about his idea of a perfect relationship where he just plays games with his lover endlessly with takeaway breaks and moments of mock annoyance if he loses. How he’d be an overall sore loser but deny it, till his pout was kissed away or rather fuc— 

All of a sudden, Dan was two seconds away from spilling his coffee on the back of Archie’s fluffy hair, he was ready for impact, and envisioned another valentine’s day spent alone, and then his entire life in isolation because he was a danger to society. 

Before he could complete this horrific thought however, a pale arm appeared out of seemingly nowhere. It was the only thing that managed to help him regain his balance. The arm was a part of a man, who Dan couldn’t help but describe as angelic.

He had a wild expression in his blue-green-yellow eyes, his skin was fair, making the flush on his cheeks a very bright pink, that matched his plump lips. Lips that seemed to be moving. Oh! He was speaking to Dan while Dan was busy gawking. Typical. 

Dan supposes the man was in a hurry because before he could ask him to repeat, the arm around him loosened and the man ran out of the cafe. Odd.

—

The date with Archie had gone… alright. Dan didn’t know how to express how... mind-numbingly normal it was, all they did was get to know each other better and flirt? That’s how it’s supposed to go, Dan thinks, but he can’t help but feel something was missing… a spark? 

‘When did I get so sentimental?’ he thought disparagingly. He couldn’t help but feel like the few moments with radioactive eyes (what he dubbed the man) were somehow more mysterious and exciting than an entire evening with Archie. He was… a bit boring, that’s all, but a nice person. 

‘This is what you get for trying to look for a soulmate literally 3 days before Valentine’s day, you can’t be picky now.’ Well, one thing Archie got right was the destination of their next date. Not being an animal lover was definitely a deal breaker for Dan. Thankfully, Archie loved cats and asked Dan out to the new cat cafe on Brick Lane, which was an enthusiastic yes from Dan. 

If anything, Dan would get to have a great time with a bunch of cats, he couldn’t really ask for more. If he got a boyfriend out of it then that’d just be a lucky bonus. 

—

Phil watched Dan put on a tee shirt with a graphic cat pattern amusedly (he tried to avert his eyes but….. Phil’s only human. Oh wait, no he’s not, he thought embarrassingly as he watched Dan change, peeking behind the hands covering his red face). After all, it wasn’t his fault Dan decided to change right in front of his windows, with open blinds. 

Phil could no longer be in the same room as him - after the contact of their skin, Phil was visible to Dan. So, he suited himself by floating outside Dan’s apartment window and making sure he got ready for his date. 

That was all, he just, uh wanted to make sure he was getting ready in time. Nothing to do with him being a creepy voyeur who was attracted to his person of interest. 

Dan was far more enthusiastic about this date, he was humming along to music and got ready far in advance unlike the previous one. Phil was glad, this was the most progress he’d made in a while. 

Though, there was a pang of envy when he saw Dan swaying his hips in front of the mirror admiring himself with the most adorable dimpled smile Phil had ever seen. How he’d love to have his arms around those hips. Phil put an end to that thought before he crossed a line. He patted his pocket, feeling the cupid's bow. Today was the day.

—

Dan had never in his entire lifetime been this early for anything, he arrived to the cafe well in advance to meet and spend time with the cats. Just in case Archie thought he was a crazy cat lady if he paid attention only to the cats.

After playing with the two spotted kittens though, he was sure that if Archie didn’t react the same way he did, he was calling it quits. He held one of the bigger black cats in his lap and after a while he felt it go lax and close its pretty yellow eyes. 

Phil was dying with the amount of cuteness, his eyes were watery and he was about to start crying at the thought of Dan being so warm that the cats were falling asleep on him. 

Archie walked in around that time, surprised to see Dan surrounded by cats. They started talking about how cute the small kittens were, when someone started sneezing loudly. 

A bomb dropped, when Archie mentioned that he was allergic to dogs. Dan didn’t think he could deal with that. He excused himself to go to the washroom, when he went upstairs he saw the radioactive guy from last time, in a corner sitting alone with a cat on his table. 

The cat was licking its paws and the man seemed to be wheezing, loudly. He walked by the table and saw the man get off his seat, only to drop to the floor. Dan rushed over to the man.

—

Phil felt a tiny prick but he had more pressing matters at hand, like not being able to respire. But suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, and slowly, he could breathe again; he opened his eyes. Dan was 3 centimetres away from his face, looking at him with concern. 

What made Phil flinch though was noticing the cupid’s bow that was connected to his thigh that Dan was holding down. This was bad, very, very bad. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?”

“You were having an asthma attack! This epipen was literally sticking out of your pocket!”

Phil didn’t have the time to think about this, he had to escape, get to headquarters and see if there was something he could do about this. His instincts forced him to run out of the cafe before he’d fade in front of Dan.

“Some thanks this is for saving your life!” he heard Dan yell after him. 

—

Phil appeared in the hallway of his office. Of course, he managed to transport himself right into Elena’s path, making them both fall down with a thud.

“Phil! Where have you been? Any progress with your man?”

“Uh… yeah.. sure. Ellie I need to report to headquarters, I’ll catch you later, ok?” He made a move to stand up only to trip over his own noncooperative feet. 

“You’re so clumsy I wouldn’t even be surprised if you slipped and stabbed yourself on your own arrow.” 

Phil stared at her, with wide eyes and a straight face. It took Ellie a moment.

“WHAT! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO DO THAT?” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Ellie keep it down!” Phil murmured, looking around in fear of any colleagues who might be passing by, seeing the two of them on the floor. Ellie pulled him up along with her, looking expectantly at him for an explanation. 

“And… it does look like an epipen you know! Works like one too apparently. I looked it up and apparently love in humans is a result of the brain sending signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine. And what is an epipen but epinephrine and I suppose that’s how the arrows work as well and… please stop staring at me like that.”

“Only you Phil.. Wait, actually… didn’t.. Cupid prick himself with his own arrow and fall in love with Psyche? Holy shit yeah.”

Phil nodded, hiding his face behind his hands, “What will I do Ellie?”

She leaned over and patted his knee, “It’ll be alright Phil, the arrows don’t do permanent damage! Unless there’s feelings to work on.”

—

He didn’t feel any different about Dan after The Incident, as he dubbed it. When he looked at him from behind the menu card at the restaurant Dan was having his date at, he found him just as gorgeous as before. He wasn’t wearing the casual all black outfit he usually wore, instead he wore a shirt with black and grey skull pattern on it. The venue was a bit more classy, it probably even had a strict dress code. 

‘Is this guy trying to propose to Dan or what’, he wondered with a sneer. 

Maybe he was projecting but Dan looked uncomfortable too, with a smile pasted onto his face as Archie pulled his seat out for him. Which simply made Phil roll his eyes from his seat outside the restaurant.

Dan seemed to be quiet for most of their conversation, in fact his lips almost seemed to turn downwards at some points, seeing him like that gave a sort of perverse joy to Phil. 

Nothing had changed, Phil was glad about that, but he didn’t want to watch any longer. He still had a job to do though, he looked through the supplementary quiver that he found since he didn’t have it in him to ask headquarters for another bow.

The quiver was empty. No bows in it, none at all. Did he drop it? He must have, hopefully at HQ. Phil was about to burst into tears, couldn’t he do at least one job right? As he tried to compose himself, he heard the door open and someone dashing out. 

When he looked back to the place where the couple were seated, he found it empty. Looking around, he saw Archie seated at the bar, he seemed to be talking to someone. This someone was not Dan. 

—

It was all over. It was Valentine’s day and he hadn’t matched Dan with anyone. He would probably get fired for the mess he made of the situation. Worst of all, he’d have to watch Dan all alone because he had let him down. Or worse, he’d have to watch him get matched to someone else.

Someone who probably understood his obsession with rap music and racing. Someone who’d buy him expensive shoes that didn’t look like anything special. Imagining the scenarios made Phil smile, thinking of how Dan deserved that and so much more. 

But the bitter truth was that he’d never get to do any of that for Dan, he’d never get to make him happy. Never get to see those adorable dimples or those warm brown eyes crinkled with laughter again. 

Phil felt a sharp pain in his chest, he never realised that the bow caused physiological effects as such but, there was no other explanation for it. He felt it and waited for it to reduce, but it never did, it remained the dull pain it started off as. 

He felt helpless, almost anxious, as if nothing could make it stop other than --- the sight of Dan on the bench outside the cafe caught his eye. The pain increased twofold, bracing Phil to bear the view of his loved with another in the near future. 

It was unnecessary, because Dan seemed to be waiting for someone with a bouquet in his hands, and when his eyes settled on Phil, he stood up. 

Phil couldn’t begin to articulate how intense it was to feel Dan’s eyes focused on him, after all this hiding and sneaking around that he did. It made his heart pound loudly in his chest.

“Um, what are you doing out here tonight?” he mumbled, his eyes, fixed on the ground in front of them as he sat down beside Dan. 

“Hoping I’d come across you actually..” Phil looks up, and then at the bouquet with blue and yellow tulips in Dan’s hands.

"Are those for your date? Where's he?"

“Oh no Archie and I had a misunderstanding, he wasn't what I wanted. These are for you.. They.. reminded me of your eyes. I’m sorry by the way, if this sounds really creepy. Your friend told me you’d be here, and I just.. Wanted to see you. I don’t even know your name! But I want to, I want to know everything about you and my heart just beats a little harder when I think about you.”

It was everything he wanted to hear, but the last sentence made him wonder… “your friend”... Seems like Dan had been hit with an arrow as well. He was showing the same symptoms that Phil was going through. 

“I don’t know where I should begin to explain Dan but, you are being made to feel this way about me, I started feeling the same after the incident with the epipen..?” 

“I.. I don’t care, you don’t know how I feel! I’ve been thinking about you since the moment you met my eyes. Will you be my valentine?” 

“Phil.” Dan looked up, his lower lip held hostage by his teeth.

“My name is Phil.. and I would love to be your valentine” he grinned.

Dan returned his smile and leaned in quick, Phil felt lips press against his cold cheek. 

—

“Are you trying to kill me, Dan?” 

“How do you know my name?”

“A very good question. I’ll explain on our first date.” He offered Dan his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> BONUS
> 
> “Why didn’t they put me in the astrology department? I’m so good with soulmates and stuff.. My grandma was a psychic you know!” Phil held his head in his hands before resting his head on his paper covered desk.
> 
> “You’re obviously creative enough to think up scenarios for people to fall in love. I bet you said you were good at reading people in your resume and they took it as a soft skill, not an astrological one.” 
> 
> Elena laughed at the thought, but when Phil didn’t join in she added, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, I mean, he’s just like you. Shouldn’t that help? Just think about the kind of person you’d want to be matched with.”
> 
> Phil lifted his head, his features suddenly shone with enthusiasm, “Ellie you’re a genius!” he said, changing settings and scanning the database.
> 
> “That I am, Phil” she mumbled to herself as she walked away to the break room. 
> 
> —
> 
> Phil quietly switched off the operating machine when the only match he got for his specifications matched him with a familiar profile. Brown eyes and chestnut curls. Fuck.


End file.
